I hate the sensation of “I am wasting my time”. I don’t like the fact that lately I don’t have time for myself. That I don’t have time for my husband. Neither for my house. Or to call my parents in Brazil.
I’m tired of having to poop within 15 minutes in my afternoon break. Tired to wake up at 5 am, get dressed extremely fast and have to drive and eat my breakfast at the same time.
Tired of getting at work and having to do 8374598239 things at the same time. Tired of running on my morning break and having to swallow my morning snack within 15 minutes. It’s not even enough to eat a full bagel! Believe me, I’ve tried before.
Then going back to work, holding until my lunch time to use the bathroom because there are too many cases to be inspected/received/pulled to the work floor.
Then it’s lunch time… Uff finally a break! The longest 45 minutes of my day. Enough time to eat lunch, drink a soda can and eat a dessert. And if I’m fast enough, time to chat for 5 minutes before lunch time is up.
Back to work…after running around, another break. The pooping break time. I run to the bathroom and call my husband while pooping. As disgusting as it sounds, it’s the only time that I can talk to him (without waking him up) so I can tell him what to buy at shop rite.
Then back to work. NEVER leaving after 8 hours of work. Always needing to stay one, two extra hours….
Time to drive home (30 minutes sharp). Enough to call my dad in Brazil and try to tell/hear everything that has to be said. But not fully concentrated, after all I have to pass all those trucks on 287 highway.
Finally home! (around 4.30pm) The couch calls me. It winks at me. The tv does the blinking marketing thing…and I surrender. Because I have no strength to clean the house. Or make dinner. Or organize my closet. Or put my clean clothes away. Only strength enough to lay down for 45 minutes, to then take a shower (a quick one, of course) and go to school. To hear that I have to write 10 texts a week. Oh how nice!
And I wish! I wish I had time to write, after all I have some awesome ideas sometimes. But the lack of time is the exactly reason why I stopped writing on my blog.
So what do I do? Give up working?
How if my husband doesn’t have a job? How if I want to graduate? How if I want a promotion at work? How if I want to live, travel, eat, rest?
If you know it, please let me know.